We had a very fortunate incident with my dad today.
My dad has severe dementia, is in a full care nursing home, and has just recently been placed on hospice. Scott is a private aide for my dad who is with him to give him stimulation (walks, talking, games, outings, etc.) and has been with him for about 3 years, and Scott generally works with my dad from about 11:30 until about 7:30.
Now that my father is on hospice, one of the hospice services is to provide a private aide for 3-4 hours a day during the week, and Kaywana will be coming from about 9 to noon; she will dress my dad and get him to breakfast, and also try to keep him active. Her first day was yesterday, and my dad was pretty unresponsive, but she is a professional and she got him dressed, to breakfast, and walked him outside in a wheelchair.
Today, Scott needed to adjust his hours, so he came in at 9 and he and Kaywana worked together with my dad. My dad was much more responsive and active, taking an interest in what he and they were doing, walking with his walker, and making comments. I had lunch with the three of them, and Kaywana had this to say:
I’ve learned so much from Scott today. As certified nursing assistants, we are taught that our patients have no idea what they want, and we just need to decide and then be firm with them. That’s the way I’ve always been with my elderly dementia patients and the way I was with your dad, being firm about what I thought needed to be done. I just was assuming he was a resistant person who did not communicate or interact. I was firm, and we did what I thought needed to be done.
Today I saw Scott. He was always asking your dad what he wanted. Even if Scott had an idea what they should be doing, he would adjust based on what your dad said, and maybe rephrase some of the requests so that they were more acceptable to your dad.
What a difference that made. Your dad is so active today and he was delightful. I’m going to work that way from now on, it makes the job so much more fun and I can see how it’s better for the patient as well.
This is going to make a big difference in the quality of life for my dad, and it happened by accident, just because Scott needed to be somewhere this evening and so shifted his hours, and then because Kaywana was willing to go against her training and be open to learning other ways of working with patients.
Isn’t it interesting how we have these scripts and stories about the way things should be done. And isn’t it amazing the results we can achieve when we are willing to reconsider and go beyond those scripts.
(photo by Scott)